Going Once, Going Twice, Kennedy Senior Auction Gone

By Christopher Wong and Dominic J Larsen, Editorial Staff A recent move by Kennedy administration to discontinue the Senior Auction fundraiser has caused debate between students in favor of continuing the fundraiser and students supporting the school’s policy of canceling the event permanently. This year the event was held on February 9th and 10th. Senior Auction has been an annual fundraiser held by student government … Continue reading Going Once, Going Twice, Kennedy Senior Auction Gone

Chris WongMarch 31, 2017October 17, 2017Leave a comment

SATIRE

Speaking of a Change

By Jim Polca, Political Animal Control Expert The Speaker of the House of Representatives, Paul Ryan, does a heavy workout every week with his P90x routine. He does his 90 day workout or a similar variation of it every opportunity he gets. He had to do a scaled down version during his bid to be vice president in the 2012 election. Ryan has the job of … Continue reading Speaking of a Change

timmycurryMarch 31, 2017May 17, 2017Leave a comment

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McClatchy Quiets the Lion by ‘Soft-Petaling’ a New Mascot

By Billie Rae Bisepp, Disciple of All Living Things Since C.K. McClatchy High School’s opening in 1937, the school has featured the lion as their mascot. Earlier this week, the 80-year-old school shocked the school’s alumni by abruptly changing their mascot to the dandelion. This major update created a backlash that has been covered heavily by multiple news sources, social media sites, and even outside … Continue reading McClatchy Quiets the Lion by ‘Soft-Petaling’ a New Mascot

Ariyah ArmstrongMarch 31, 2017May 17, 2017Leave a comment

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Freshmen See McClatchy as Better Plan for Sophomore Year

By Shaft Milken, Telegraph Repairman “Man, Kennedy? More like Kennedon’t.” Ken D. Bailer, a freshman, says. He misses the excitement that he was promised when he came to Kennedy. “I was told there would be grand fights, spanning three floors! Too bad campus security is too good for students. I’ll move to McClatchy, they don’t have the potential for big fights but at least they happen.” … Continue reading Freshmen See McClatchy as Better Plan for Sophomore Year

Cameron CowlingMarch 31, 2017May 17, 2017Leave a comment

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JFK Hide and Seek Team Finds Their First Victory in Forty-four Years

By A.A.Ron Soh-Liz, Sports Reporter Seeking Employment It was the year 1973. There were seven seconds left on the clock. Kennedy athlete Oscar Robinson only had moments to find the last student from then rival school Luther Burbank before the final quarter. Robinson was sure he had checked everywhere in the campus. With only four seconds remaining, he closed his eyes, listened to the humming wind, … Continue reading JFK Hide and Seek Team Finds Their First Victory in Forty-four Years

aaronsolizMarch 31, 2017March 28, 2018Leave a comment

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Farewell Starbucks

By Caeli Kara, Coughy Liquidator Farewell to my joy, the coffee lover’s usual. Available on almost every street, and every corner, Starbucks, a worldwide coffee chain could be possibly shut down in America entirely. Of course the nation’s leader would be responsible for the liquidation of Starbucks. It was Trump’s idea, as he threatened to close down all chains across the nation to gain more control over consumers in … Continue reading Farewell Starbucks

kessiengMarch 31, 2017May 17, 2017Leave a comment

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Vampires Have a Bloody Good Time at Blood Drive Event

By Sam Pire, Friend of All Bats On February 28th, John F. Kennedy High School held its second blood drive of the current school year. However, BloodSource employees noticed that they were missing a number of blood bags as they were loading the blood into trucks to transport it back to BloodSource headquarters in midtown Sacramento. The bloody event lasted six hours and roughly 100 pints … Continue reading Vampires Have a Bloody Good Time at Blood Drive Event

katiedoll3290March 31, 2017May 17, 2017Leave a comment

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Lake Kennedy Monster Spotted During Heavy Rain

By So Flagman, Chief Ferret Wrangler This past February, Sacramento experienced a continuation of severe rain for the first time in nearly 10 years. Properties all over the city were damaged, with the most recent and devastating being the collapse of the Oroville dam. Other rare events such as the flooding of the Sacramento River and the formation of an EF0 tornado inflicted worry among … Continue reading Lake Kennedy Monster Spotted During Heavy Rain

saerimptMarch 31, 2017May 17, 2017Leave a comment

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Class of 2018 Government in a Pinch After St. Patrick’s Day Conspiracy Allegations

By Connie Spirist, Skepticism Editor JFK’s Junior class government is being accused of conspiracy for planning a Class Colors Day on Friday, March 17th. March 17th was also St. Patrick’s Day. The main cause for the opposition was the junior’s class color and the coincidence with the Irish holiday, St. Patrick’s Day. Juniors dressed in green took the opportunity to pinch unsuspecting freshmen, sophomores, and seniors, wearing … Continue reading Class of 2018 Government in a Pinch After St. Patrick’s Day Conspiracy Allegations

Chris WongMarch 31, 2017April 27, 2017Leave a comment

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Andrews Heads Hair Regrowth Project and New Club for Balding Students

By Harry Hafnott, Wig Aficionado Kennedy world history teacher Jonathan Andrews is now sponsoring The Hair Raisers, a club on campus that seeks to promote an encouraging environment for students who have problems regrowing hair. The club also has the opportunity to test a new hair regrowth product. Andrews got the idea for the club himself when a big gust of wind came and he … Continue reading Andrews Heads Hair Regrowth Project and New Club for Balding Students