Class of 2018 Government in a Pinch After St. Patrick’s Day Conspiracy Allegations

By Connie Spirist, Skepticism Editor

Nejon QuipotJFK’s Junior class government is being accused of conspiracy for planning a Class Colors Day on Friday, March 17th. March 17th was also St. Patrick’s Day.

The main cause for the opposition was the junior’s class color and the coincidence with the Irish holiday, St. Patrick’s Day. Juniors dressed in green took the opportunity to pinch unsuspecting freshmen, sophomores, and seniors, wearing white, black, and yellow, respectively.

“These juniors have gone crazy. They think they’re all high and mighty since they can pinch everybody in sight,” said Nha Greene, a senior at JFK. “I swear some Irishman is leading this student government conspiracy.” She suspects student government activities director Kenneth O’Flaherty might be behind this.

Kennedy administration decided that the time had come to intervene. From now on, to prevent such discrimination, Kennedy juniors will wear brown for Class Colors day.

However, not all juniors partook in the supposed mass pinching. “I don’t really give a crap about spirit weeks, most don’t actually. But this time, I felt really discriminated against for not wearing green,” said Kennedy junior Noe Spirit Ou. Ou decided not to continue the interview after other juniors interrupted and pinched him.

The Clarion has yet to hear back from the junior class government.

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