Fake News. Disgusting.
By Desir Lusti & Anomalily Zepol, Claritin Staff To many students on campus, vulgar language has become a part of the day-to-day experience of high school life. It is practically impossible to walk through the hallways without hearing an exclamation of “S*%t!” or “Stop acting like a b@%*h!”. However, as of late a new form of obscenity has been noted on campus. In conformity with … Continue reading The Bread and Butter of Insults
By Desir Lusti, Claritin Staff As of this quarter, Kennedy students and staff can no longer say puns on campus. It was recently announced this banning occurred as a result of the “sheer number of puns overwhelming the campus” as stated by the principal. When told of the news, Kat Smeeyao, class of 2019, exclaimed, “You have got to be kitten me!” Smeeyao was the … Continue reading Kennedy is No Longer Respunsible
By Chuck & Nancy, Claritin Staff Chancellor Nan Vatten recently called a schoolwide emergency this past week. “Tonight, I am speaking to you because there is a growing humanitarian and security crisis in the M wing,” stated Nan Vatten. The topic he wanted to address was a rather controversial decision: Kennedy Band. Nan Vatten’s solution: the construction of a wall to separate Kennedy students from … Continue reading And the Band Played on, Discrimination in the M Wing.
Tou Geytoh, Chief Cynicist Performing members from the John F. Kennedy drumline, color guard, brass band, and Vibe in Promo were denied by student government rally planners after all four auditioned for a spot in the spring rally. “The studies show,” began lead rally research correspondent Ada Tutch, “students really would prefer to see more slutty dancing and short skirts as opposed to more exciting … Continue reading Band, Project Move Banned from Rallies
By Keir Joy, Happiness Consumer Unfortunately, this year, the senior trip to Disneyland has been canceled in lieu of a field trip to the zoo. Coming from a mix of educational and safety concerns, it was a shared feeling that the trip overall would be more worthwhile if it was changed to a local area, instead of the repetitive trip to the land of mouse … Continue reading Senior Trip to Disney Cancelled, Replaced by Zoo By Keir Joy
By Karissa Jones, Claritin Staff The Kennedy surf team has had a terrible year so far this season. For the first time since the drought of 2016, the team of rad dudes and dudettes is unable to compete in the Metro League. The rough start is causing the athletes to worry for their performance at the 2019 World Surf League Championship Tour, which will decide … Continue reading Waving Goodbye to the surf team
By Brett To, HIs/her/They/It-storian Kennedy administration made the long-awaited decision to open the historic time capsule located in Office Manager Maria Valim’s office. The 2006 treasure chest’s contents pleasantly surprised the students who were fortunate enough to witness the unboxing. The black box included artifacts such as a Helio Hero mobile phone offering one-button access to MySpace, a Nintendo DS Lite, a pair of Heelys, … Continue reading Time Capsule Reveals Signs of a Simpler Time
By Keir Joy, Happiness Consumer Unfortunately, this year, the senior trip to Disneyland has been canceled in lieu of a field trip to the zoo. Coming from a mix of educational and safety concerns, it was a shared feeling that the trip overall would be more worthwhile if it was changed to a local area, instead of the repetitive trip to the land of mouse … Continue reading Senior Trip to Disney Cancelled, Replaced by Zoo
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